Had a frustrating background gig today. I was playing a "cafeteria worker of the future". No kidding. But that wasn't the frustrating part, nevermind that it was in Coquitlam....
The plot of the show was.....It's 30 years in the future. There has been a nuclear war that has decimated the planet. The only people left are the 831 people who live and work in an underground military bunker..........that's all you really need to know.
Anyhoo, myself and my two cafeteria-serving compatriots were approached by the 1st A.D. Seems there was an "actor upgrade" up for grabs. He explained to us that, for the scene, they needed one person behind the counter serving customers, which will include two lead actors, and would involve chit-chatting and improvising some "How ya doing? What can I get you?" kind of dialogue. Now I've spent some time behind a counter(haaaaaa) and my improv skills don't suck, so I felt pretty confident. And this kind of upgrade would count as a union credit, along with a cash upgrade.
So, the A.D. auditioned us, one by one. I went first. Went like this...
A.D: "So yeah, get behind the counter and we'll just try out some dialogue..."
Me: "Absolutely!" (in full-on keener mode)
A.D: "Aaaand....(crash!)tion!
Me: (befuddled and startled by loud bang of someone dropping something heavy which cut out the first part of the word "action") uhh....Hi, ahem, wha..what can I get you?"
A.D: "Yeah, gimme a couple of number 2 specials".
Me: "Sure, uh...(fumbling for a couple of plates that are in display case, pulling face because I can't get the fucking display case open)...heh...anything else for you?
A.D: "Yeah, I'll take dessert.(gestures to alleged desert.)
Me: "Certainly, Just a sec....(having not been behind counter before now, I look around wildly for the presence of supposed dessert. Finally spot sad jello-like substance in bowl) Here we are!
A.D: Uhh..thanks...(lack of enthusiasm apparent)
Me: Enjoy!!(now slightly hysterical).....
Yeah...not my best performance. Felt like I blew it. They gave the bit to a guy with a look I like to describe as "blandly handsome". Though, they might have given it to him because he was the only one of the three of us who could see over the impossibly tall counter.
Then, it gets worse.
The 1st A.D. marches over to "Blandly Handsome Guy" to show the director ,who's in tow, what he has in mind for the shot. The director introduces himself to "Blandly Handsome Guy". He's Mark Rydell.http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0753073/ Fairly big time. Crap!
Then.....after setting up the shot, in marches the lead actor, who will be in the line-up of people that "Blandly Handsome Guy" will be serving and interacting with. I just about pee myself. I only get star-struck when I see actors I REALLY love.
Ladies and gentlemen........Judy Davis. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001114/
She's ONLY one of my absolute favourite actors, and I now get the pleasure of watching "Blandly Handsome Guy" interact with her. Cock and Balls! is all I can say.....at least I, and the other guy who didn't get the part, got to watch "Blandly Handsome guy" screw up a number of times. Shallow, bitter, but sweet....
Oh well, I've never thought I would be "discovered". Have to work hard for everything I get.
I was supposed to participate in a focus group tonight for $60. It was at 7:30. I had harboured fantasies all day about being wrapped at 6:oo so I could make it on time. What time were we wrapped, you ask? 6:30.
Cock & Balls.....no $60 for me.
Long day....
3 comments:
aarrrggghh.
nightmare.
well, like you said...I've always thought that getting that first credit via 'extra upgrade' would feel just a bit like cheating, and would detract from the elation of finally auditioning for and getting that first one. but that said: Cock and Balls.
and you're probably right, it was the fact that he was tall. and bland. can't distract from the beauty of the star now, can we? which I might add, had YOU been future cafeteria worker #2, everyone would have been going 'Who's that hot cafeteria worker ladling gruel to Judy Davis?' and we couldn't have that. not even in the future.
You were to good for that lousy role!, let the blandly handsome baby have his bottle. You got to watch Judy and he most likely peed himself a little.
Ah crap, better luck next time.
Judy Davis!... Cool!... What's the name of the movie? For TV or feature film?
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