Nerves.

Intestine update: Spasms no longer. You can all rest easy now. Yes, yes.....I know. You've been waiting to hear about my intestines. I understand. My bowel-issues are a compelling topic.....

Usually, Ye Olde Irritable Bowel Syndrome, as they like to call it, is brought on by some kind of stress or anxiety issue. I honestly haven't been stewing about anything in particular. No, really. Of course, if I search the old psyche, trying to pick-up on any hidden anxieties, I'll be able create whole worlds of nail-biting-causing shit. It's probably best just to chalk it up to too much spicy food. Hmmmm, I have been biting my nails too, though maybe something IS up...................SHUT UP BRAIN!

I had an interesting audition today. Generals at the Arts Club. I was doing a monologue I've done a zillion times. My knees know the words. About half way through, I momentarily blanked. I stepped back into it quickly and I think covered my ass well, but it was interesting that I dropped the lines for a sec. I think it's because that I used to be this very nervous actor. I'm not anymore. In the same way, anyway. The nerves would literally get in my way. But those nerves can come in handy, in that they can keep you present, in the right doses. Just have to find the right dose. The dose was too high for my last commercial audition, but too low for this one.

I've been working on my to-do list. Put demo-reel together, get gym membership, file divorce papers, etc. Making lists was helpful last fall. I found one yesterday from last October. A list of 13 things. I have accomplished 9 of them. Wow. That's actually not too shabby. The major stumbling block is that most of my to-do list requires mucho $$'s. I guess that puts making $$ at the top of the chart. With a bullet. Hard to do when I Am NOT ALLOWED to make more that $1700 a month. Anything over that goes to the trustee to handover to Visa. Not that I'm in any immediate danger of making that amount right now......heh.

I think I'll take advantage of my currently bitten nails and fiddle around with my guitar. It's hard for me to play when they're long. Those THREE whole chords I know. I'm sure Clapton is shitting himself.......